Let Your Sun Shine!

May 11, 2018

Do you ever find yourself feeling in such a great mood, having a great day, and then suddenly think, “I shouldn’t be this happy, I need to prepare for the next hurdle life is going to throw at me.” Or, “Oh, I almost forgot about that big credit card payment I have to make this month.” And it killjoys your happy day.

I’m curious to find out if I’m the only one with this thinking. I’ve been working on this pattern of mine for a while and thankfully have made some progress but there’s still some work to do.

With the challenges we face and wish to conquer, I believe the first hurdle is to acknowledge them. Too often we brush things under the carpet because we think there is no choice, we are stuck with this life, or way of being.

So not true!!

Once we face it, we can realize we can change it…we can fix it, and nothing has to be permanent. So I started to question why I feel this way….why I short change happiness by beginning to worry about what’s behind my next turn?

Why can’t I just live in the present and joyfully take in the great days I have?

I have been reading a lot of Eckhart Tole. He has inspired me to take a closer look, and I think that’s where I had my second breakthrough, or rather understanding.

I can recall my youth and early adulthood as very wonderful and I was always happy with the ‘singing in the rain’ kind of disposition. At 31, I had a nice house, great husband, beautiful three year old daughter, and very excited about the soon arrival of our second baby.

Then…..all hell broke loose when my son Avery was born with a critical heart defect. While he spent many months in the hospital battling for his life, my dad suddenly dies at home from a Heart attack, and shortly thereafter, my daughter receives an autism diagnosis.

Thankfully Avery lived and is an amazing, healthy young man who is now in university. My beautiful daughter Jesse does lots of volunteer work, and is one of the most kindest and generous people I know. There isn’t a single day that goes by where I don’t feel incredible gratitude to have them in my life.

I really feel I am one of the most happiest moms in the world….I have felt that way ever since Avery’s heart was fixed and we could bring him home. But now I can see how ever since then I have always braced myself for the next curve ball life was going to throw at me. It makes perfect sense….I wasn’t prepared for the devastation life was about to throw at me back then, and I have been scared to release that fear and to live in the present.

But you see, now that I am aware of this learned behavior, I can begin to address it.

It’s very exciting to understand that we don’t have to stay in the same pattern, but, (and a major but), this is not easy to change. This learned behavior becomes deeply seated in our roots over time.

However, with our new knowledge, we can slowly re-route our conditioned thinking. For example; every time I am having a great day, and begin to worry and fear something bad may happen, I say to myself, “You don’t know the future Kim… just allow yourself to enjoy this day.”

And guess what? The more I say it, the more it sticks, and the longer I can live in the present joy!

I thought I’d share this story with you in the case of anyone happening to have similar situations or predicaments in your own life, and so you can see how you don’t have to be stuck. You can break through living the same pattern, or as I always say, ‘Groundhog Day’ ……and let your sun shine!

May 11, 2018

Do you ever find yourself feeling in such a great mood, having a great day, and then suddenly think, “I shouldn’t be this happy, I need to prepare for the next hurdle life is going to throw at me.” Or, “Oh, I almost forgot about that big credit card payment I have to make this month.” And it killjoys your happy day.

I’m curious to find out if I’m the only one with this thinking. I’ve been working on this pattern of mine for a while and thankfully have made some progress but there’s still some work to do.

With the challenges we face and wish to conquer, I believe the first hurdle is to acknowledge them. Too often we brush things under the carpet because we think there is no choice, we are stuck with this life, or way of being.

So not true!!

Once we face it, we can realize we can change it…we can fix it, and nothing has to be permanent. So I started to question why I feel this way….why I short change happiness by beginning to worry about what’s behind my next turn?

Why can’t I just live in the present and joyfully take in the great days I have?

I have been reading a lot of Eckhart Tole. He has inspired me to take a closer look, and I think that’s where I had my second breakthrough, or rather understanding.

I can recall my youth and early adulthood as very wonderful and I was always happy with the ‘singing in the rain’ kind of disposition. At 31, I had a nice house, great husband, beautiful three year old daughter, and very excited about the soon arrival of our second baby.

Then…..all hell broke loose when my son Avery was born with a critical heart defect. While he spent many months in the hospital battling for his life, my dad suddenly dies at home from a Heart attack, and shortly thereafter, my daughter receives an autism diagnosis.

Thankfully Avery lived and is an amazing, healthy young man who is now in university. My beautiful daughter Jesse does lots of volunteer work, and is one of the most kindest and generous people I know. There isn’t a single day that goes by where I don’t feel incredible gratitude to have them in my life.

I really feel I am one of the most happiest moms in the world….I have felt that way ever since Avery’s heart was fixed and we could bring him home. But now I can see how ever since then I have always braced myself for the next curve ball life was going to throw at me. It makes perfect sense….I wasn’t prepared for the devastation life was about to throw at me back then, and I have been scared to release that fear and to live in the present.

But you see, now that I am aware of this learned behavior, I can begin to address it.

It’s very exciting to understand that we don’t have to stay in the same pattern, but, (and a major but), this is not easy to change. This learned behavior becomes deeply seated in our roots over time.

However, with our new knowledge, we can slowly re-route our conditioned thinking. For example; every time I am having a great day, and begin to worry and fear something bad may happen, I say to myself, “You don’t know the future Kim… just allow yourself to enjoy this day.”

And guess what? The more I say it, the more it sticks, and the longer I can live in the present joy!

I thought I’d share this story with you in the case of anyone happening to have similar situations or predicaments in your own life, and so you can see how you don’t have to be stuck. You can break through living the same pattern, or as I always say, ‘Groundhog Day’ ……and let your sun shine!

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